girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
it's like iHOP with fire
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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