if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
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