I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Randomize
