Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
