You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
