Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize