I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Randomize