Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
