And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
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