I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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