he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
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