It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
