the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
