After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
So gin and wine won't be happening again
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
