White coat. Heels.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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