Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
