just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Randomize
