If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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