At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
