I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
