I'm gonna have a badass scar
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
