Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize