what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
