It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
