Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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