My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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