She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
