ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
