well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize
