You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Randomize
