He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
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