It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
