This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
