I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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