But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
