youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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