I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
The adults are the big ones right?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
