My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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