I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
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I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
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And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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