If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
