I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
