you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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