Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
