apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
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