I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
