Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
