The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
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Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
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he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
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