Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
