tell your sister to shave her snatch
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
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