who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
