Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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