dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Randomize
