I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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