whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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