Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
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Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
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