I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
