you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Randomize
