There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
