Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
