I hope mine doesn't look like that
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Randomize
