there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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