do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
