shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
