Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
