There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize