i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
